Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Blah, Blah, Body Blahs

Recently, I had a wicked case of the body blahs. This might be the biggest understatement since Kim Kardashian said, “I love taking selfies.” Nothing fit right, my face was waging war against me by breaking out, and my gung ho fitness attitude had fizzled. While bouts of this are not out of the ordinary, I didn’t like it, AT ALL. I hated it even more when Gertie appeared; it’s what I not-so-lovingly refer to unwanted pounds. She arrives at the most inopportune times, and there she was again, squeezing herself in to my life. I hit the roof the moment she came between me and my beloved pair of jeans, our relationship became frayed, and it was all her fault. I had to figure out how she snuck back in and make a plan to get rid of her.  I took a closer look at my diet, pretty sure chips and guacamole are not on the food pyramid (though it should be), and how active I was (shopping isn’t cardio) before deciding I invited her. Sad but true, there was no one else to blame.

It's a case of the body blahs, run for it!
No seriously, get that heart rate up. 
This realization did two things, reevaluate my love for plantain chips and turn on the motivation button. I also thought back to what worked for me in the past, like ditching dairy and sugar. However, before I could set forth to reclaim my denim I had to change my attitude. I can only handle my whining for so long before I get on my own nerves.  Surprisingly, complaining has no effect on Gertie. Even the heavy hitters like criticizing, comparing, or sulking doesn’t make her budge. Only taking action does the trick. Remembering this I put my big girl pants on, as the others didn’t fit, and made an effort to get back into group fitness classes. Then I had a therapy session, of the retail kind. New workout pants solve all problems, except the whole “get in shape” thing. Damn. At least I’ll look good going to the gym. Just kidding, I bought sneakers instead. Thanks to the shoes I fled my pity party to meet with those who inspire me and discussed my lack luster feelings. There’s something to be said of sharing tales of body woe, as everyone has been there, and those who haven’t been there are clearly lying so unfriend them. Nobody likes a skinny bitch. Most importantly I try to remember to have a sense of humor (see previous sentence) when these moments strike, as it’s easy to cloak yourself in negativity. However, much like last season’s trends it’s something you want to leave behind, and cloaks are SO last year.

Next, I scoured the Internet to find the current exercise fads to laugh at, or avoid, and rediscover those who motivate on the daily. Or who annoy me so much with their claims I can’t help but research what they do to see if it’s legit. There is no way you got abs in a week!! I went one step further and sought organizations where fitness is the focus of helping. I found Girls on the Run, a great non-profit program which teaches young girls life skills through interactive lessons and running games. I signed up to be a volunteer for their Rocky Mountain chapter and hope to be a 5k running buddy in the fall. It felt good to be inspired again and Gertie was pissed. I am making progress by taking the reins and I’m hopeful the momentum will continue. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a class to catch.


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